tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91177779410214963182011-04-21T13:06:22.687-07:00My wife is trying to recover from an eating disorder. I'm trying to help, and these are my adventures.DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.comBlogger111100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-54650692342557335532008-10-30T11:19:00.000-07:002008-10-30T11:40:09.916-07:00

M said that to me yesterday - and shockingly, meant it as a compliment!Here's what she meant. She looks at my eating habits, and she can't believe how, um, normal they are. I eat when I'm hungry. I don't eat when I'm not hungry. I don't absolutely avoid "bad foods"; I just control my portions of those foods, but I still enjoy them. And, I simply love the feeling of enjoying food.All of these are

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-9732103325058260182008-10-30T11:10:00.000-07:002008-10-30T11:19:08.804-07:00

After months without one, M finally got an appointment with a new nutritionist. The nutritionist had a simple, intriguing suggestion for M: for the time being, focus more on when you eat than what you eat. So, M is supposed to eat breakfast between 8 and 9 am, lunch between 12 and 1 pm, a snack between 3 and 4 pm, and dinner between 6 and 7 pm. What she eats is up to her. The hope here is that

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-9105156885588416802008-10-10T11:48:00.000-07:002008-10-10T11:56:05.062-07:00

M's been insanely busy recently with work. For the past two weeks, it's been work, sleep, eat (a bit), cook (she loves to do it), and yoga (once or twice a week). I'm not sure if the intense schedule has been good for her or not.On the one hand, when she's crazy busy, she has less time to act on her eating disorder, and she has to stay focused on the task at hand.On the other hand, she's stressed

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-4963905744818957242008-10-05T14:35:00.000-07:002008-10-05T15:48:23.245-07:00

I had a chance to hear Trisha Gura speak recently. Trisha is a biologist and science writer by trade, but now focuses on writing about the personal and psychological aspects of eating disorders. Trisha recently completed a book called "Lying in Weight". I definitely encourage you to check out her Web site at www.trishagura.com. A couple of highlights from her talk:* Trisha talked about the

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-30614508419187369672008-09-19T21:26:00.000-07:002008-10-05T14:34:26.954-07:00

I read somewhere this week that it's important to remember things about your loved one that haven't changed because of the eating disorder. I thought about what hasn't changed for me about M, and told her a few of them this week. Her reaction? Well, she glowed. I think it was huge for both of us, for different reasons. She needs to remember that she's more than just her disorder and her recovery.

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-36054005228284508102008-09-19T20:26:00.000-07:002008-09-19T21:05:31.654-07:00

First, the good news: M seems to be working hard to get more out of her sessions with her therapist lately. She's been with her psychiatrist (let's call him Dr. L) for a couple of years now, and her attitude about those sessions constantly swings between appreciative, challenging, and downright combative. M can be a wee bit stubborn, you see, and Dr. L is sometimes the only person in her life who

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-83748670880405739092008-08-17T17:10:00.000-07:002008-09-19T21:30:09.420-07:00

Now here's an interesting conundrum.When M isn't doing well, and is acting on her eating disorder, it's often difficult to know if I'm being a helper or an enabler. (Difficult for me at least.)One example - she sometimes asks me if this eating disorder is her fault. No, it's not, I tell her, and that's perfectly true. She didn't ask to have this. It's just the result of a weird mix of bad

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-71177412232684860052008-08-12T17:05:00.000-07:002008-09-14T13:03:07.265-07:00

I posted recently about The Top 10 Lessons I've Learned In Anorexic Hell. Number 8 was:Tell people who can help you deal with what you're going through. Don't tell people who can't.Here's what I mean.There are two types of people. Some people are hard-wired to be a friend when you need them most - to listen without an agenda, to keep your deepest fears and emotions confidential, to make you laugh

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-65242185053166046132008-08-12T16:09:00.000-07:002008-08-27T09:02:32.325-07:00

This isn't a complete list, and I have by no means followed all of these at all times, but it's some of what (I think) I know at this point.Get your suffering loved one to attend a support group. Go with her if she's OK with that. If she's not, that's perfectly fine, she can go by herself. But just get her to be in that building. Even if she's not ready to give up her eating disorder, being there

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-79412457277711206542008-08-12T15:56:00.000-07:002008-08-12T16:08:53.504-07:00

In four days, M ingested:A couple of handfuls of cereal (Corn Flakes, mostly)An appleAbout 2 cups of yogurtSome other stuff that's so insignificant I'm not even going to try to remember itThe thing is, I'm not mad at her. I know this is a disease, it takes forever to overcome it, it's not just about the food, blah blah blah. I'm just... flailing. Flailing and trying desperately to understand how

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9117777941021496318.post-54920065788132122872008-08-12T15:33:00.000-07:002008-08-12T17:27:57.721-07:00

M is my wife of several years. Just over a year ago, she told me that she had been suffering from anorexia for over 6 months. I was completely blindsided. I knew she had lost a lot of weight, but whenever I asked her about it, she said she just didn't have any appetite because of medication she was taking. Stupid me, I believed her little tale. This was, to my knowledge, the first thing she's

DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02544808922798496135noreply@blogger.com0